I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Naked Twister starts at high noon
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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