his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
