hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Ladies don't puke and tell
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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