Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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