I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
