Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
