also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
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