It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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