So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
