It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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