you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
