if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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