Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
