shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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