Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
