This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
