I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
