so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
