I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
