ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
