And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
