Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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