I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
