Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
