You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
