Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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