ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
