Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
