eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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