I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
