okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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