Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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