I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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