Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
