question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
