Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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