we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
