we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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