you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
