Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
