Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
