Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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