Having a random hookup so left but love u
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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