That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
