would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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