Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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