I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
