This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
