Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
