that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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