That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
