please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
